Top 10 Questions to Ask at Your First Divorce Consultation

1. How Many Family Law Cases Have You Handled?

Experience matters. A lawyer who handles one divorce per year among criminal cases and personal injury matters is not a family law specialist. You want a lawyer who lives in family court, knows the local judges, and handles divorces every week.

The answer should be specific. “Hundreds” is vague. “I handle approximately thirty family law cases per year” is better. Ask about cases similar to yours. If you are a service member, ask how many military divorces they have handled. If you have a business, ask how many business valuations they have managed. Specificity shows competence.

2. What Is Your Strategy for My Case?

A good lawyer can outline a strategy after hearing your facts. They should identify the major issues, the likely outcomes, and the path to resolution. Vague answers like “we will see what happens” or “every case is different” are red flags. Every case is different, but an experienced lawyer can still map the terrain.

Listen for specifics. If custody is contested, the lawyer should mention custody evaluations, parenting plans, and potential mediators. If there is a business, they should mention forensic accountants and valuation methods. If you are military, they should mention the SCRA, USFSPA, and pension division. Generalities mean they have not thought about your case yet.

3. Who Will Handle My Case Day to Day?

At large firms, the partner you meet may not be the attorney who handles your case. Associates, paralegals, and junior lawyers do the bulk of the work. There is nothing wrong with this if the team is competent and supervised. But you should know who you are actually hiring.

Ask whether the partner will attend hearings, whether associates will draft documents, and how much paralegal support you will receive. Also ask who answers your calls. If you have a question on Friday afternoon, will you speak to a lawyer or a voicemail system? Communication expectations should be clear from the start.

4. What Are Your Fees and Billing Practices?

Family lawyers bill by the hour, on a flat fee basis, or through limited scope representation. Ask the hourly rate, the retainer amount, and how often you will receive bills. Ask whether the retainer is refundable if the case settles early. Ask about costs for experts, court filing fees, and process servers.

The cheapest lawyer is not always the best value. A $400 per hour lawyer who settles your case in ten hours costs less than a $250 per hour lawyer who litigates for thirty hours because they lack negotiation skills. Ask about the lawyer’s approach to settlement and whether they have a track record of resolving cases efficiently.

5. How Do You Communicate With Clients?

Some lawyers communicate by email. Others prefer phone calls. Some use client portals. Ask how the lawyer handles updates, questions, and emergencies. Ask how quickly they respond to messages. A lawyer who takes three days to return a call will frustrate you during a crisis.

Also ask about after hours availability. Family law emergencies happen on weekends and evenings. A restraining order violation or a custody emergency cannot wait until Monday morning. You do not need a lawyer who answers at 2 AM, but you do need one who has a system for urgent matters outside business hours.

6. What Is the Likely Timeline?

California has a six month waiting period from the date of service. But the actual timeline depends on complexity, court availability, and the other party’s cooperation. A lawyer should give you a realistic estimate, not a promise.

Ask about the timeline for temporary orders, discovery, settlement negotiations, and trial if necessary. If the lawyer promises a resolution in three months for a complex custody case, they are either naive or telling you what you want to hear. A realistic lawyer gives you the best case and worst case timelines.

7. Have You Handled Cases With My Specific Issues?

Every divorce has unique elements. Military service, business ownership, domestic violence, interstate custody, and high net worth assets require specialized knowledge. A generalist may miss issues that a specialist would spot immediately.

If you are a service member, ask about SCRA stays, pension division, and SBP elections. If you own a business, ask about valuation methods and buyout structures. If there is a history of domestic violence, ask about restraining orders and their effect on custody. The lawyer’s answers should show familiarity, not hesitation.

8. What Is Your Approach to Settlement?

Some lawyers are trial lawyers. They litigate everything. Others are settlement lawyers. They negotiate aggressively but avoid court when possible. You want a lawyer who can do both. They should negotiate from strength and litigate when necessary.

Ask about the lawyer’s settlement rate. A lawyer who settles 90% of cases may be a skilled negotiator or may pressure clients into bad deals. A lawyer who tries 50% of cases may be a fighter or may lack negotiation skills. The right answer is that the lawyer evaluates each case individually and pursues the strategy that serves the client’s goals.

9. What Are the Weaknesses in My Case?

A lawyer who only tells you what you want to hear is not helping you. Every case has weaknesses. A good lawyer identifies them early and develops strategies to address them. If the lawyer cannot name a single weakness in your case, they have not analyzed it thoroughly.

Listen for candor. If you have a history of substance abuse, a spotty employment record, or a questionable financial transaction, the lawyer should mention it. They should also explain how to mitigate the weakness. Blind optimism is not a strategy. Realistic assessment is.

10. What Do You Need From Me to Get Started?

A prepared lawyer gives you a document list at the first meeting. They tell you what financial records to bring, what questions to answer, and what deadlines to meet. A lawyer who says “just sign the retainer and we will figure it out later” is not prepared.

The document list should be specific. Tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements, retirement account records, and real estate documents are standard. For military clients, the list should include LES statements and retirement point summaries. For business owners, it should include financial statements and tax returns for the business. A detailed list shows the lawyer knows what they are doing.

The information on this website is for general information purposes only. Nothing on this site should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. This information is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing does not constitute, an attorney client relationship. Results vary based on specific circumstances, and past performance does not guarantee future outcomes.

Sources:

• Cornell Law School Legal Information Institute
• California Legislative Information