Top 7 Things to Change Immediately After Separating

1. Open Separate Financial Accounts

Once you separate, your income becomes separate property. But if you continue depositing it into a joint account, you are commingling separate and community funds. This creates tracing problems and may result in your post separation earnings being treated as community property.

Open a checking account and savings account in your name alone. Redirect your paycheck to the new account. Pay your personal expenses from this account. Do not use the joint account for personal expenses after separation. The new account establishes a clear boundary between community and separate property.

For service members, this includes setting up a new allotment or direct deposit for your LES. BAH and base pay deposited after separation are separate property. Keep them separate from the marital funds.

2. Change Passwords and Secure Digital Accounts

During marriage, spouses often share passwords for email, banking, social media, and cloud storage. After separation, this shared access becomes a liability. Your spouse can read your emails, monitor your finances, and access private communications with your lawyer.

Change every password immediately. Use strong, unique passwords for each account. Enable two factor authentication wherever possible. Check your email forwarding settings to make sure your spouse has not set up automatic forwarding. Review your cloud storage shared folders and revoke access.

This is not about hiding anything. It is about attorney client privilege and personal privacy. Communications with your lawyer must remain confidential. Financial records should not be accessible to a spouse who may use them against you.

3. Update Beneficiary Designations

Life insurance, retirement accounts, and payable on death accounts pass to the named beneficiary regardless of your divorce judgment. If you die before the divorce is final, your spouse receives the proceeds unless you have changed the beneficiary.

Update beneficiaries on your life insurance, 401k, IRA, TSP, and bank accounts. If you want your children, parents, or siblings to receive the proceeds, name them. Be aware that some employer sponsored plans require spousal consent to change beneficiaries. Your lawyer can advise you on the timing and procedure.

For military service members, SGLI beneficiaries can be changed but federal rules may apply. Consult with JAG or your lawyer before making changes. Do not leave your SGLI to a spouse you are divorcing unless that is your specific intent.

4. Document the Date of Separation

The date of separation matters for property division, support calculations, and the six month waiting period. Under California Family Code § 70, the date of separation is when one spouse clearly communicates the intent to end the marriage and acts consistently with that intent.

Document the date in writing. Send an email or text message stating that the marriage is over and that you consider the date of separation to be today. Keep a copy. This creates evidence if the other spouse later claims a different date.

Your actions must also be consistent. Moving out, opening separate accounts, and filing for divorce all support the separation date. Continuing to sleep in the same room, celebrating anniversaries, or filing joint tax returns undermines it. Be clear and consistent in your conduct.

5. Gather and Copy Important Documents

Before your spouse can hide, destroy, or withhold documents, make copies of everything. Tax returns, bank statements, investment records, retirement account statements, mortgage documents, insurance policies, and pay stubs should all be copied and stored securely.

For military families, this includes LES statements, retirement point summaries, VA disability ratings, and military orders. These documents are essential for pension division and support calculations. If your spouse controls the originals, request copies through official channels.

Store the copies in a secure location outside the marital home. A safe deposit box, a trusted friend’s house, or your lawyer’s office are all options. Do not keep the only copy in a place your spouse can access.

6. Review and Adjust Insurance Coverage

After separation, you may lose coverage under your spouse’s health insurance. If you are on your spouse’s employer plan, you may be eligible for COBRA continuation coverage, but it is expensive. Start exploring your options immediately.

Auto insurance policies should also be reviewed. If both vehicles are on the same policy, you may need separate coverage. Homeowners or renters insurance should be updated to reflect who is living in the residence. If you move out, you need your own renters policy.

For military spouses, TRICARE coverage may continue during separation depending on the 20/20/20 rule and your spouse’s service status. But do not assume coverage continues automatically. Verify your DEERS enrollment and understand when coverage may end.

7. Establish a New Mailing Address

If you move out, establish a new mailing address immediately. This ensures you receive legal documents, financial statements, and personal mail without your spouse’s interference. A PO box or a private mailbox service works if you do not have a permanent residence yet.

Update your address with your employer, your bank, your credit card companies, and the DMV. File a change of address with the post office. This prevents your spouse from receiving your mail and gives you control over your communications.

For service members, update your address in DEERS and with your command. Military legal documents and court filings must reach you at the correct address. An incorrect address can result in missed deadlines and default judgments.

The information on this website is for general information purposes only. Nothing on this site should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. This information is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing does not constitute, an attorney client relationship. Results vary based on specific circumstances, and past performance does not guarantee future outcomes.

Sources:

• Cornell Law School Legal Information Institute
• California Legislative Information
• Defense Finance and Accounting Service