Top 10 Items to Include in Your Parenting Plan

1. The Regular Custody Schedule

The regular schedule is the default arrangement for weekdays and weekends. It should specify which days the child is with each parent, pickup and drop off times, and locations. Common schedules include alternating weeks, every other weekend with one midweek evening, and a 2-2-3 rotation.

The schedule should be specific enough to prevent arguments. “Every other weekend” is not enough. “Father shall have custody from Friday at 3 PM to Sunday at 6 PM, with pickup at Mother’s residence and drop off at Father’s residence” is better. Specificity eliminates the “what time is pickup” disputes that plague vague plans.

For military parents, the schedule should include provisions for temporary changes due to deployment or training. The regular schedule resumes when the service member returns.

2. Holiday and Vacation Schedule

Holidays override the regular schedule. The plan should specify which parent has the child for each major holiday, including Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Easter, Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Labor Day. It should also address school breaks and summer vacation.

Common approaches include alternating holidays each year or splitting holidays in half. For Christmas, some plans allow one parent to have Christmas Eve and the other to have Christmas Day. The key is clarity. Both parents should know a year in advance who has the child for each holiday.

Summer vacation should be addressed specifically. Many plans allow each parent two weeks of uninterrupted summer custody, with advance notice required. This gives both parents the opportunity to plan vacations and travel.

3. Decision Making Authority

Legal custody is the right to make decisions about the child’s health, education, and welfare. The plan should specify whether parents share joint legal custody or whether one parent has sole legal custody. If joint, the plan should address how disagreements are resolved.

Joint legal custody requires both parents to agree on major decisions. The plan should specify what constitutes a major decision. Medical treatment, school selection, religious upbringing, and extracurricular activities are common categories. Day to day decisions during each parent’s custody time are usually made by the parent who has the child.

If parents cannot agree, the plan should specify a tie breaking mechanism. Some plans designate one parent as the decision maker for specific categories. Others require mediation before either parent can file a motion. The goal is to prevent every disagreement from becoming a court battle.

4. Communication Protocol

The plan should specify how parents communicate about the child. Phone calls, text messages, emails, and co parenting apps are all options. The plan should also specify response time expectations. “Each parent shall respond to non emergency communication within 24 hours” is a reasonable standard.

For high conflict cases, the plan may require use of a specific co parenting app like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents. These apps create documented records and discourage hostile communication. The plan should also prohibit communication through the child. Parents should not use the child as a messenger.

5. Medical and Educational Information Sharing

Both parents have the right to access the child’s medical and educational records. The plan should specify that each parent will provide the other with copies of report cards, medical records, and activity schedules. It should also address emergency medical treatment and who has authority to consent.

For school enrollment, the plan should specify which parent’s address is used for school district purposes. This matters when parents live in different districts. The plan may also address private school tuition and how it is divided.

6. Relocation and Geographic Restrictions

California courts take relocation seriously. The plan should specify whether either parent may move with the child and under what conditions. Some plans prohibit relocation beyond a certain radius without court approval. Others require advance notice and consent.

Under California Family Code § 3024, a parent who intends to relocate must provide notice to the other parent. The plan can specify the notice period, typically 30 to 60 days. It can also require the relocating parent to pay for transportation if the move affects the custody schedule.

For military parents, the plan should address PCS moves and how they affect custody. A service member who receives orders to another state needs a plan that either allows the child to move or establishes a long distance custody schedule.

7. Right of First Refusal

The right of first refusal requires a parent to offer the other parent the opportunity to care for the child before using a babysitter or daycare. For example, if Mother has custody but needs to work late, she must offer Father the chance to take the child before calling a sitter.

This provision keeps both parents involved and reduces childcare costs. But it requires good communication and reasonable expectations. Some plans limit the right of first refusal to absences of more than four hours to avoid constant coordination. Others specify that the right does not apply when the child is in school or regular daycare.

8. Dispute Resolution Process

Every parenting plan should include a mechanism for resolving disputes without going to court. Mediation is the most common approach. The plan can require parents to attend mediation before filing any motion to modify custody or support.

Some plans include a parenting coordinator, a neutral professional who helps parents resolve day to day disputes. This is useful for high conflict cases where parents cannot communicate effectively. The coordinator makes binding decisions on minor issues, which prevents court involvement for every disagreement.

9. Transportation and Exchange Logistics

The plan should specify who transports the child for exchanges and who pays for travel. For parents who live nearby, exchanges usually happen at school or at a neutral location. For parents who live far apart, the plan should address airfare, meeting points, and unaccompanied minor policies.

The plan should also specify what happens if a parent is late. A 15 minute grace period is common. After that, the waiting parent can leave and the late parent forfeits that custody time. This prevents one parent from chronically disrupting the schedule.

10. Deployment and Military Service Provisions

For military parents, the plan must address deployment, temporary duty, and training absences. The plan should specify who cares for the child during the service member’s absence, how communication is maintained, and how custody resumes upon return.

Under California Family Code § 3047, deployment cannot be the sole basis for permanent custody modification. The plan should reflect this by providing for automatic reinstatement of the pre deployment schedule. It should also address virtual visitation during deployment and how the child will maintain contact with the absent parent.

The plan should name alternate caregivers, such as grandparents or stepparents, who can assume temporary custody. This prevents emergency motions every time orders change. The military parent should also provide copies of orders and deployment schedules as far in advance as possible.

The information on this website is for general information purposes only. Nothing on this site should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. This information is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing does not constitute, an attorney client relationship. Results vary based on specific circumstances, and past performance does not guarantee future outcomes.

Sources:

• Cornell Law School Legal Information Institute
• California Legislative Information