Top 5 Custody Challenges Unique to Military Parents

1. Deployment and Temporary Custody Transfers

Deployment is the most obvious challenge. A parent who leaves for six months to a year cannot exercise physical custody during that time. California courts handle this through temporary custody orders that transfer physical custody to the other parent or a designated caregiver for the duration of the deployment.

Under California Family Code § 3047, a parent’s absence due to military deployment cannot be the sole basis for a permanent custody modification. The court must reinstate the pre deployment custody order when the parent returns. This statute protects service members from losing custody just because they were deployed.

But the protection is not automatic. You need a deployment clause in your custody order that specifies what happens when orders come down. The clause should name the temporary custodian, establish communication schedules, and provide for automatic reinstatement upon return. Without this language, the other parent can argue that the temporary arrangement should become permanent. We draft these clauses in every military custody case.

2. Frequent Moves and the Children’s Stability

Military families move every two to three years on average. California courts value stability for children. A custody evaluator may look at frequent moves as disruptive, especially if the moves take the children away from schools, friends, and extended family.

The counterargument is that military children are resilient and that the service member parent provides a stable home despite the moves. California Family Code § 3020 requires courts to consider the health, safety, and welfare of the child. A well organized military household with consistent routines can be just as stable as a civilian home that never moves.

We present the military lifestyle as a positive factor when possible. We show that the children have thrived in multiple locations, that the service member parent maintains consistent discipline and routines, and that the moves are planned rather than chaotic. We also build relocation clauses into the custody order that address future PCS moves before they happen.

3. Communication During Deployment

Virtual visitation is not a replacement for physical custody, but it matters. California courts want to see that the deployed parent maintains a meaningful relationship with the children through phone calls, video calls, and emails. A custody order that specifies communication windows helps everyone stay connected.

The challenge is time zones and operational security. A parent on a ship in the Pacific cannot always call at 7 PM California time. The custody order needs flexibility. We include clauses that allow the deployed parent to make up missed calls, that do not penalize the parent for operational restrictions, and that require the other parent to facilitate communication rather than block it.

We also address what happens if the other parent refuses to let the children take calls. The order should specify consequences for interference with virtual visitation, including makeup time and potential contempt findings. Communication is a right, not a favor, and the order should treat it that way.

4. Different State Jurisdictions

A service member stationed in California may have a spouse who moves to Texas with the children during separation. Six months later, Texas claims custody jurisdiction under the UCCJEA. The service member is now litigating custody in a state where they do not live, against a lawyer they have never met, in front of a judge who does not know their family.

We prevent this by filing first in California and establishing the children’s home state before the other parent can move them. Under California Family Code § 3421, the home state is where the children have lived for six consecutive months. If we file before the six month mark in the new state, California keeps jurisdiction.

The SCRA also helps here. Under 50 U.S.C. § 3901 et seq., a service member can request a stay if they are unable to participate in proceedings due to deployment. But the stay does not transfer jurisdiction. We use the stay to protect the service member’s rights while keeping the case in California where it belongs.

5. Reintegration After Long Absences

Returning from deployment is hard on families. The children have grown. The other parent has established new routines. The returning service member feels like a guest in their own home. California courts recognize this transition period and may order a gradual reintegration schedule rather than immediate return to the pre deployment custody arrangement.

California Family Code § 3047 requires reinstatement of the pre deployment order, but it allows for a transition period if the children’s best interests require it. We negotiate this transition in advance. The order specifies how many weeks the reintegration takes, what the schedule looks like, and when full custody resumes.

We also address the emotional component. Reintegration is not just a legal issue. It is a family issue. We encourage clients to work with family counselors and military support programs during the transition. The court respects parents who take this seriously and penalizes parents who use reintegration as a weapon to limit the returning parent’s time.

The information on this website is for general information purposes only. Nothing on this site should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. This information is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing does not constitute, an attorney client relationship. Military divorce involves federal statutes and specific procedural requirements. Results vary based on specific circumstances, and past performance does not guarantee future outcomes.

Sources:

• Cornell Law School Legal Information Institute
• California Legislative Information
• Defense Finance and Accounting Service